A woman enroled in nursing school is attending an anatomy class. The subject of the day is involuntary muscles. The instructor, hoping to perk up the students a bit, asks the woman if she knows what her asshole does when she has an orgasm. 'Sure!' she says, 'He's at home taking care of the kids...'
Two 90 year olds had been dating for a while, when the man told the woman, 'Well, tonight's the night we have sex!' And so they did. As they are lying in bed afterward, the man thinks to himself, 'My God, if I knew she was a virgin, I would have been much more gentle with her!' And the woman was thinking to herself, 'My God, if I knew the old man could actually get it up, I would have taken off my panties!'
A man who just got a raise decides to buy a new scope for his rifle. He goes to a rifle shop, and asks the clerk to show him a scope. The clerk takes out a scope, and says to the man, 'This scope is so good, you can see my house all the way up on that hill.' The man takes a look through the scope, and starts laughing. 'What's so funny?' asks the clerk. 'I see a naked man and a naked woman running around in the house.' the man replies. The clerk grabs the scope from the man, and looks at his house. Then he hands two bullets to the man and says, 'Here are two bullets, I'll give you this scope for nothing if you take these two bullets, shoot my wife's head off and shoot the guy's dick off.' The man takes another look through the scope and says, 'You know what? I think I can do that with one shot!'
One cucumber was telling another 'my life is miserable, as soon as I get firm and hard, someone slices me up and puts me in a salad.' The other cucumber said 'yeah well, my life is worse, as soon as I get firm and hard, someone puts me in a jar with vinegar and garlic and pickles me.' A penis was listening to this conversation and chimes in, 'my life is worse than both of yours, as soon as I get firm and hard, someone puts a bag over my head and makes me do pushups until I puke.'
5 Kinds Of Sex 1) The first is Smurf Sex. This happens during the honey-moon, you both keep doing it until you're blue in the face. 2) The second is Kitchen Sex. This is at the beginning of the marriage, you'll have sex anywhere, anytime, even in the kitchen. 3) The third kind is Bedroom Sex. You've calmed down a bit, perhaps have kids, so you gotta do it in the bedroom. 4) The fourth kind is Hallway Sex. This is where you pass each other in the hallway and say, 'Fuck you!' 5) The fifth kind of sex: Courtroom Sex. This is when you get divorced and your wife screws you in front of everyone in the courtroom.
Free video chat meeting room conference. Use Free video conference software, make conference call video / audio. Live room chat Voice comunication with free audio / video chat.